For Change Will Do You Good? ..

'The Change We Need' kata campaign Mr. Barrack Obama. Just now while I lay down and breastfeed Rayyan, something came across my mind. Change... again kata campaign Mr.Obama 'Change Can Happen'. Teringat blog nih... sgt simple, sangat tak de ape2 lah pendekata nyer. But I love my blog dearly, for me that's the utmost important thing (sape tak sayang blog wehh...). I created the blog at first solely as I need a place to pour thought, to put in 'canvas' what I have in mind. There's time when I just sat and look blankly at my blog layout. The thought of changing the layout does come and go, sesekali mcm angin menderu gitu. But then I think, hmmm....like my brother motto 'Let It Be'.. So terbatal la niat nk wat layout lawa2.. Nak tukar gambar Dina and Azalea kat atas tu pon mcm terbantut.

Atau, adakah I'm the type of person who has a very hard time to change? setia? tak pasti. But then when I did blog hopping.. terlintas juga perkara yang sama. Tukar layout? Its like 'To Be or Not to Be' matters. Its like you have a house, and was thinking. Mau cat baru ke tak mau.. Not that I am that lazy to do it. Tapi hati terasa sangat berat. And I was thinking, if I change the layout..because I wanted to change them or because I wanted to let the other blogger 'cuci mata' with the whole new layout? Then, terus lagi rasa tak nak tukar layout, sebab dulu mula2 buat blog untuk diri sendiri. Tak bagitahu org pon ada blog..hehe.. Even papa pun tak tahu, then only find out coz I leave the browser idle.

Actually there's a lot of things in life that I found hard for me to change. My habit for example, suka tangguh kerja. So jadi delayed... pastu kalau org paksa2. Lagi rasa malas nk buat, the more people push me..the more delayed the task. Everything will be 'in progress'. Tapi kalau org x push, pandai lak siap..huhuu...
And I'm married to the same type of person, so memang tunggang-langgang hidup kami. But guess what, I love my life. Even my dear friend Ezni tanyer, 'Tak mo fly ke? belajar oversea pulak?', jawapan no 1 : mmg tak layak rasanyer. Jawapan no 2 : rasa sayang dengan kehidupan sekarang. And if possible, I wanted to stay like this. Tapi mana mungkin kan?

Teringat my very bestfriend Ijah, back then in high school, (kat Malaysia its secondary school laa...pandai jek taruk high school ;p). Masa tu gaduh2 dengan sorg schoolmate nih, she accused me of something. Ijah menjadi peneman setia, we went to meet her. And I explained to her my arguement when then she suddenly said 'kau dah banyak berubah'... And out of blue, I said 'we have to change to face life'. Habis jek sesi buli org tu...oppsss sessi 'slowtalk' tuh. Ijah ckp ' Ja, aku suka la..betullah "we have to change to face life" kan?'..

Err...I think I have to postponed this entry.... haha

For I Always Have Reason

Last friday, like the usual...my workplace sunyi. But I guess, my heart has never been. Even on the day like that (usually Friday) on the way to work I already know, not many collegues will be around... There nothing makes me feel lonely. Maybe bcos I'm sooo used to the fact that most will take day off on Friday. My office is 'cowboy town' on Friday.Memang begini sejak kami pindah dr Shah Alam ke sini..
*depa nih sungguh banyak cuti utk dihabiskan

I signed in my Skype, also to find fews only available. And upon my availability, Dora skype me, and we chat for awhile, and we end up exchange our blog address. *we have exchange before tapi then I lost hers and she lost mine... But what make me write this entry is Dora's entry here. The fact that both of us use english in our blog. Dora fully used english as medium in her blog, while I did use some english but ku rojakkan dgn bahasa melayu.But almost 75% entry in my blog is english.

Why I prefer english... Actually its not my preference, but...its due to the fact that I need to teach sciences in english. And the fact that english was supposed to be the medium in writing, speaking and everything here. I love bahasa melayu. senang kan, bahasa ibunda. But then I need to improve my english. Some people said 'ok la...i do think your english is good'.. Uhhh?? I always think my english is not so good. I have grammatical error here and there. I even usually started my class with english and end up speaking n lecturing in malay. Apa nak jadi?

So i need to improve myself kan? see how i mixed every sentences with malay words/sentences...??

That's the main reason I used english here, use english when talking to Dora n Meg,use english in meeting, even meeting tuh conduct in Malay. I really need to improve my english...harus..harus...huhuuuu

For I've Been Tagged

I’ve been tagged! by eversweet Ira atau Cloud9 ;)

Rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time : 3.50 am (baru terjaga dr tido..tgh demam nih..uhukss)
Name : @ home - Aja, @ office - Naza (BEST)
Sisters : adik ku,Eitah yang jiwalara cam kakak dia.. (tp jiwa lara dia lg teruks dr aku)
Brothers : 3 big bro, 2 bro, 1 in memory (died on motor accident, and he is always in our heart..al-Fatihah)
Shoe size : 6,7 kalau preggy up to 8..pastu turn balik 6..kuang3x
Height : 158cm (sometimes I do feel I'm taller..ngeh..ngeh..ngeh)
Where do you live : PUNCAK ALAM, papa kata..papa kawen dgn org 'keramat' so mmg kena duduk kat puncak alam (sesuai dgn status sebagai org 'keramat'..ye lah tuuu)

Have you ever been on a plane : Yep, tp bukan gi obersea, gi sarawak jek..
Swam in the ocean : Really loved it! <--ni jwpn cloud tp sebab sama..biarkan ya?
Fallen asleep at school : I slept during class in secondary school, gua budak Asrama, mmg kuat tido kot, and always fallen asleep during degree year. Pastu sekarang lecture kat IPT, takkan aku nk marah student tido..hmmpphhhh
Broken someone’s heart : Yep.. selagi belom kawin, ada jek ati terluka. Bukan comel sgt pon gua nih, tp papa kata mmg sebelum mengandung shomel la..tp dh tuu...huwaaaaa..x sanggup ckp ooo

Fell off your chair : Mcm x penah jek, tp ada dua tiga kali tgh2 jalan tergelincir, clumsy? kalau iyer..patut la Dina tuh clumsy...

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : I have a husband who has becomes my ex-boyfren (ye lah dh jd hubby, so x-boyfren la kan) and since I know him, he hates calling or talk over phone. So YES, most of the time I sat by phone all nite n waiting for his call, atau letak h/p sebelah bantal, kejap2 check..painful nyer masa tu.Yang bengang 'tahap 3' tuh, dia yang nak sgt kat gua, pastu dh dpt malas2 call lak. Tp bukan malas call aku jek, parents dia pon dia malas call..huhuu

Saved e-mails : Yep.. I’m so consistent! and usually its hard for me to delete emails.

What is your room like : Bedroom - ok la..so so jek, kalau dtg umah aku, simple je x de brg2 pon, cam umah sewa, Office - Messy!...definitely. Then every end of semester baru kemas. Kalau tidak, nk carik paper jek sepah balik. Huhuuu

What’s right beside you: 2 handphones, mine n papa's

What is the last thing you ate : Tgh demam tp order kat papa, satay 15 cucuks..pastu papa belikan Char Kuew Tiow lak..selera lak tuh (papa kata. biar betul mama demam???!!)

Ever had…
Chicken pox : Yep.. long time ago..
Sore throat : Yes...rite now, and because of the sore throat..tu yg demam tuu
Stitches :I dont have any...yet
Broken nose : Nop!
Do you Believe in love at first sight : yup...I believe in anything regarding love..
Like picnics : Nope...memenatkan, dan mengusutkan rambut..(walau ku bertudung ya..)

Who was/were…
The last person you danced with : My hubby and with the 3 of our kids, memula kami berdua, then Rayyan mintak dukung, pastu Dina n Azalea gelak2 sambil menyelit celah kaki..
You last yelled at : dont remember, rasa cam lama x jerit kat org..

Today did you...
Talk to someone you like : yup
Kissed anyone : papa kissed me and said, cepat sihat ya
Talk to an ex : NEVER!
Miss someone : Arwah adik, and most of the people that crossed my life path

Who do you really hate: ada...back-stabber..

Do you like your hand-writing : yup..

Are your toe nails painted : NEVER!

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : not sure
What color shirt are you wearing now : Cream + black + brown stripes
Are you a friendly person : hehe...yes I guess, tp ramai kata garangs
Do you have any pets : not for the time being, masa kecik dulu suka kucing
Do you sleep with the TV on : Yes.. sometimes
What are you doing right now : checking emails n my stores..
Can you handle the truth : well it depends, coz truth is painful, sometimes

Are you closer to your mother or father : Both of them

Do you eat healthy : huhuhu.. not all the time..

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : ada...mana ntah, tapi sebab been with papa since 8 years before getting married so x de sgt la gambo2 tuh

If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : Papa

Are you loud or quiet most of the time : Loud most of the time..
Are you confident : Not really but I do get helps to build them

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1) I was studying in UKM
2) actively participate in kamsis event
3) In love with papa
4) I sometimes travel home to Keramat kalau bosan kat kampus
5) I was active and vibrant back then

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1) settle my debts
2) perform hajj/umrah
3) buy a beautiful house for my parents
4) buy the ever great Medela Freestyle Breastpump for every breastfeedingmoms
5) build a charity school with conducive facilities <--me tooo cloud..

5 of my bad habits
1) suka bercakap tp bgtahu subjek last sekali (mangsa: papa n ezan..hahah)
2) shoppings for unnecessary
3) take time to perform solat
4) malas masak, tp suka kemas ---but sejak sakit, umah cam tongkang pechah
5) pending my office tasks ---me tooo cloud, argghhhh..

5 places I lived before
1) Keramat, KL
2) UKM, Bangi
3) Dengkil (Jenderam Hilir)
4) Subang Permai
5) Puncak Alam

5 people I tag

Huwaaa... tatau nk tag sape laa...nanti pk dulu

For Rayyan Has This Antics...phewwww

I hardly post anything about me being a breastfeedingmom. I usually keep it around my cycle only. And once in a while if someone asked, I will politely explain about me being workingmom, breastfeeding n pumping at work. But tonight I do think I wanted to blog about this. Its Rayyan..and his antics while breastfeeding...

Since last week, specifically 5 days ago. I noticed Rayyan being sleepy early in the evening. So he will sleep for a while around 8-9pm. I usually come home and directly breastfeed him for no matter how long. And papa being understanding is going to take care of everything while my nursing moment with Rayyan takes place. Usually undisturb. And Rayyan was able to empty both breast since he is 8 months.

And after dinner, he will play around until he is tired and needed to be changed in clean clothes and diaper, usually around 10.30pm. And I will take him to bed, leaving Dina n Azalea with papa. And its either I then leave him to sleep alone (usually this will failed miserably) or I will somehow sleep with him. As the semester has ended, and probably because I have no class, no workload, and not devastatingly tired. I didn't fall asleep with him..

...and now what happen since 5 days ago n just now. Rayyan will wake up, crying like being bitten by something. And he DIDN't want to breastfeed. OMG... whenever I tried to breastfeed him during this time, he will try as much to pull away from me and crying like mad. The first night I thought he was having this colic,stomachache maybe..but putting some ointment on his stomach doesn't relieved him. So I gave him to papa...guess what? He stop crying...

Apa lah...anak jantan mama nih...aiyoo.. Then the next day it happen again and I starts to think that he is fed up that my milk is not enough. I was thinking maybe I should pump earlier than 6pm so that by the time I reach home, my breast will be full again. I keep telling myself, susu aku banyak...susu aku banyak.. And I dont think this is the problem. But curiosity did make me wonder. Sungguh pelik. Nowadays I still managed to pump around 17 oz - 23 oz per day (depends on how many session per day).

And then just now, this happen again. He's fast asleep. And I took the opportunity to surf the net. When I heard him crying, I went to breastfeed him..And he REFUSED!!!.. Even I tried so bad, pun x mo jugak. Pastu baru la...mama perasan. Dia bukan suck then lepas like x puashati. He even wont let the nipple inside his mouth..mata pon pejam x pandang mama pon.For the past 5 days, kalau jd camni mama kejut papa, coz he really mcm nk meronta2 lepas dr mama. And bila papa dukung Rayyan tangkap lentok kat papa, pastu pejam mata.But just now, sian sgt nk kejut papa. so I took him out of the room, bg dia duduk...tepuk2 belakang Rayyan...then dukung pelan2 enjut2 (x leh buat sgt camni still terasa backache). Last2 mama let Rayyan sat on my lap. Mata dia segar balik, I let him look around. Lama skit.. he starts to feel sleepy again, and I take him to bed.

So...Let me guess :

Number 1 Rayyan is having nightmare??

Number 2 Mama busyuk sgt ker? Sampai refused mama dlm mimpi??....

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Alahai anak jantan mama..agak2 ape org lain pikir ya?

For It's For Cancer Awareness

Thanks wawi for sharing this tag with me!
And to all my fellow bloggers who read this message, please feel free to grab this tag, help spreading the breast cancer awareness. Thank you!
This one is all about breast cancer, which everyone knows is one of the most life-threatening diseases today. I’m doing my part in spreading awareness on breast cancer by sharing some scary yet so very true facts on breast cancer. Ladies, do take note!

* One in eight women or 12.6% of all women will get breast cancer in her lifetime.

* Breast cancer risk increases with age and every woman is at risk.

* Every 13 minutes a woman dies of breast cancer.

* Seventy-seven percent of women with breast cancer are over 50.

* Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in women between the ages of 15 and 54, and the second cause of cancer death in women 55 to 74.

* Risks for breast cancer include a family history, atypical hyperplasia, early menstruation (before age 12), late menopause (after age 55), current use or use in the last ten years of oral contraceptives, and daily consumption of alcohol.

* Early detection of breast cancer, through monthly breast self-exam and particularly yearly mammography after age 40, offers the best chance for survival.

Above facts taken from Women’s Health Organisation Forum.

And now here is the tag and the rules:
1. Put the logo in your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who shared it with you.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs
4. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

Now I'm tagging any women who read my blog and really concern in helping spreading the awareness..who knows it might save other women's life by early detection and prevention..

InsyaAllah..

For We Have A Plan, but God Has Bigger Plans

How do I start this, I know if I didn't start pouring this, I somehow might lost this in the middle of My life.

It was a months a go, in a middle of Hari Raya month. I was all set. I informed papa that I wanted so much to attend the gathering or open house whoever invited. No matter who. Asal org jemput je..nak jugak pegi. Papa kata OK, as long as it doesnot clash with family interest. And that weekend I was supposed to attend open house at Ayin's. I promised her.. and CikWawi and Mitu..

The open house is on Sunday, on Saturday I planned a date with papa. I love dating him. So much... All went well except I didnt get to buy what I want, and Kak Linda called to come to our house plus I had this bad feelings that my menstrual period will come..uh uh.. And I planned to call kak Ina once I got home. Mau tanyer kak Ina, mmg sakit perut n sakit belakang ka kalau nk period after months not having one due to bfeeding activities. Sampai jer rumah..Amik anak, I told papa I wanted to sleep. Penat.

And I woke up later...only to find that I couldn't get up. It is so painful.. my back..I was in pain. I didnt cry, but I was so shocked. "Papa, nape dgn mama ni?", papa pun terkejut. He tried to pull me up. But to no avail. "tak leh papa, sakit sgt nih". Ok try duduk.... Lagi sakit. I end up baring balik. Papa said do not move. "mama rase sakit mcm dulu?"... "Gosh...this is more painful than before!"..

Peminat Kopi Cilik - Episode 2

Bosan giler kat office hari nih...datang keje pon x de semangat langsung. Lambat..sgt lambat dtg hari nih. Jam 10.20 baru sampai, jenuh la nk cover lagi 2 jam tu. Biasa around 9 atau 9.30 am tuh dah sampai kat opis. So balik around 6 atau 6.30 pm. Walau x de semangat dtg keje, tapi otak tuh duk berkira2 jugak nk buat itu ini. Last2 sampai la nih x buat ape2. Rindu sgt kat anak2.. Rinduuu...huwaaaa... Mama rindu la. Dah 9 hari duk jaga diorang...

Tempek kejap gambo anak2 mama.. Kakak n Rayyan... Kakak n Azalea sayang sgt Rayyan. Dina kalau boleh tak nak kongsi Rayyan dgn Azalea. Siap mintak mama beranak lagi utk bg Azalea adik. Rayyan kakak punyer. Tapi ada sekali tuh kakak kata 'Mama, beranak adik girl lagi kat kakak, kakak x nk kongsi Rayyan dgn Azalea. Bg Rayyan kat Azalea!!'. Kata2 anak kecil, ingat Rayyan tuh mainan ke sukati jek nk kongsi, x mo kongsi??

My Dina n Rayyan - Comel kan gambar nih? Ibu aka mak su nyer amik kan...



My Azalea - Gambar blur, suka sgt bergerak time mama nk amik gambo. Dah ler kamera hphone je..



Cerita psl Peminat Kopi Cilik - Episode 2

Kebelakangan nih (almost 3 mos now, mama suka sgt Neslo Ais) Sejak abis pantang mama 100 hari plus sehingga 6 months tak minum ais, Mama crave sgt dengan Neslo Ais. Sebab tu agaknyer berat ku turun slow sgt..hmm..

Hari tuh kami dlm perjalanan balik Keramat, papa ckp kat kakak.

"Kejap yer kakak, kita berenti beli Neslo utk mama"

"Mama nih...(kakak bersungut...dengan muka berkerut), tak payah la..nanti lambat sampai umah nenek!!"

Papa memancing kakak " Ala kejap je...dlm Neslo ada nescafe tau.."

"oooo...OK. Papa beli la Neslo kat mama.." Kakak sengih lebar

Aha..Memang at the end, dia yang minum lebih..

hmmm...

note: Bace psl Peminat Kopi Cilik - Episode 1

For This Has Been Long Left

I miss this. I missed my blogging world. Even I'm not a good blogger though. But I love my blog. Love it so much. Love pouring thoughts I guess. I have many thoughts. Why? Imagine I drive to work for 42 minutes, and back again 42 minutes. What should I do then? Just listen to the music? So what I did, I always think.. daydreams.. planning... whatever I can do behind the wheels.. If its not fasting month, I will even eat while driving. I even do pumping while driving ...

I will update this blog again.Especially now I have few blogger/cyber friends around. The sgt baik hati and sooo sweet kak ina, great limau_nipis, eversweet n caring bib and zea, a very humble eija, strict but caring kuacibunge, the sweet n nice cloud, the blur but cheerful erleyna..that's few to name. Will link them to this blog later. Oh ya..I met new friends in breastfeeding cycle, namely zue and ariys, and we've been sharing a lot lately and it has been great.

I missed my chat with Megh, I didn't fullfill my promised to esma to upload Rayyan picture here. I 'hutang' kak Ina one entries for blog. Hutang Limau for my breastfeeding chronology. I'll make up to them. I will n I must. And I love you guys..all of you. Thanks for being with me all this time. Thanks for supporting me..

Love...

Note : Yey.. Ezan dah balik study. Eventually becomes a listener to my fret n whine n fret n whine.. Sabiah dah beli kereta (ini mesti mau tulis sini, kasi highlite, lama ooo...dia tunggu kereta itu), Hana kecik now Lab Manager (hambik..boss baru punyer penangan)..ekekekke... Kak Fred and Meggie sambung phD, sila..sila...sila Permanentkan Head Damaged anda (sorry tak mo join..eheheh..LOL)

Note under note : InsyaAllah after Raya..my Long Delayed Work will end. Doakan Berjaya ..Aminn

For The Pains That Merely Subsided

It has been so long since I last post anything on my blog. Last time nak update pasal hari raya with kakak and Azalea. But tak terbuat, busy and tak de mood sangat.

Pastu, just when I have mood to update my blog. Modem broadband yang beli mahal gilos tuh, siap dgn wireless bagai kena sambar petir before Awal Muharam. Aduuuhhh… Then papa sibuk pulak nak unsubscribe streamyx. Sebab nanti 2 bulan pantang maybe tak guna langsung streamyx sebab pantang umah nenek. Mama pun dah submit ‘my long delayed work’. So streamyx use tak kritikal sangat. Lagipun mama macam teringin wireless broadband…ehehehhe…

Sekarang ni pulak tgh MC kat umah. So papa belikan mama new broadband modem start mama MC hari tuh. Unfortunately, (kali ni betul-betul salah mama), kena sambar petir lagi.. Nasib la masa kejadian, laptop Dell tuh tak effect sangat. Just LAN connection tak leh guna dah langsung. Huuuhuuu…padan muka mama. Tu la…Alpa lagi. Tapi papa dah pergi jumpa dealer tuh, sebab warranty inclusive damaged by lightning. Harap2 hari ni dapat la tukar..

Oh ya..I’m on MC due to pain in my joint. Kat pangkal peha. The pain is soooo unbearable. Imagine this:

1) Lie down on your back. Straighten your leg. Then try to pull your knee up. Well right now I can’t even do that…huwaaa…

2) Lie down on your back. Then try pulling yourself to right or left side. Again…right now I can’t do that. If I lie down, then I have to bear for hours sleeping on my back. If I need to turn to left or right side. It’s either with helps from others or I have to bear the pains and turn side..

3) I still can drive at the moment. But imagine this. In order to get in car, I need to sit on driver seat (or passenger seat). Then using my hand, I have to pull my own leg up to sit nicely in car. Nak turun dari kereta jangan cakap la…uwaaaaa..

Tak pe la…terima jek ujian Allah nih. Maybe nak kifarah dosa-dosaku yang lalu. Mana tau bersalin sok senang kan. Right now dah banyak kali false alarm atau false contraction. Dua hari lepas asyik mengeras jek baby dalam ni, dan sakit pinggang mcm dah tiba masa. Atuk (my dad) siap kata, pegi jek la serah diri kat HUKM tuh. Tapi tanda tak turun lagi. Tak mau la pegi, kang kena check memacam lagi. Tak best…uhuksss

I did go to tukang urut to help subsided the pain. Alhamdulillah mmg subside sikit. Still sakit but boleh la tahan. But then when I started to do housework or anything related to movement. Lama kelamaan.. sakit tuh datang balik. And now.. mmg tak tertahan la..

As for the baby inside, Alhamdulillah last Tuesday, gynae kata semua OK. Harap2 OK la sampai bersalin dan selepas melahirkan. But then judging from papa’s look n eyes, I know he was hoping I’ll give birth earlier as he can’t bear to see the pain I’m going through. Don’t worry papa, you have been so much helped!! Almost 80% of childcare and housework papa buat since we knew I’m pregnant. What else yang mama nak papa tolong. Nothing. Just be by my side like you always do. Love...